Birth out of the disaster
by My secret
Summary: Bella is running from a dark secret that leaves her emotionally scarred, always afraid, and never trusting. When she moves to Forks to escape her past, will anyone be able to penetrate her vulnerable core, and find the girl she once was?
1. Introductions

Hey boys and girls.

Obviously I don't own Twilight, so lets just get that out of the way.

This isn't my only Twilight story so feel free to look for the other one.

The more reviews I get, the faster I update! :]

Now, on with the story

* * *

_I feel so untouched and I need you so much that I just can't resist you.._

She awoke feeling anxious, restless, as she had each night for the last week. Pushing her fingers through her chestnut shaded hair she sighed, staring up at the ceiling. Sighing a little she crawled out of bed, making her way towards the closet. Quickly grabbing a pair of jeans and a fitting t-shirt she made her way to the bathroom, trying to shower away the tired feeling.

Stepping out twenty minutes later she got dressed, slowly running a brush through her hair. Trying to make an effort, as Charlie had suggested to her, she applied a little makeup, weakly smiling at her reflection.

It was a new school, a place where the story couldn't follow her, a town where she could restart her life. No one here knew what had happened to her, why Christopher Jensen was now dead, why she couldn't have someone come within three inches of her without her flinching. Taking a deep breath she told herself she wasn't that girl anymore, that she was different, and that she was over it. Laughing a little at the lie she made her way downstairs and out the front door, eyeing the truck Charlie had given her.

"_I know it's no convertible, but it'll keep you out of the rain on your way to school." He smiled, handing her the keys to the old truck. She had taken them and smiled genuinely, amazed at how quickly Charlie had transformed into a father. _

Smiling a little at the memory she slipped into the large cab and started the engine, rolling her eyes at the loud roar the car made. "This won't call any attention. "She groaned, backing out of the driveway and making her way towards school. The short ride didn't give her much time to think, so she distracted herself with the radio. Pulling into the parking lot of Forks high in a matter of minutes, she parked, making her way to the main office. She knew she was early, which had been her plan. If she was late, she would only draw more attention to herself, unwanted attention. Quietly opening the door, she approached the desk, smiling tentatively at the older woman with the honey colored hair that stood behind it.

"I'm Bella Swan, I'm new." She mumbled, doing her best to be polite though she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable.

"Oh Bella, we've been waiting for you sweetheart. I have a folder here for you. It has your schedule, a map of the school, a list of numbers to keep handy, and a flyer with all the upcoming events. Don't be stranger if you feel confused, I'm always here." The woman who she soon found out was Mrs. Cain, smiled warmly at her. Bella nodded and made her way out of the office, holding the folder in her hands. Opening it slowly, she pulled out the clearly marked schedule, laughing a bit.

"Trig?" She laughed louder, since she had already passed the class a year ago. "Maybe this won't be so bad." She grinned and made her way to the building marked on the paper as the math quarters. She couldn't help how relieved she was by the empty campus, even though she knew her class didn't start for a half an hour. Moving slowly through the campus, she explored, trying to make herself familiar with the oddly setup high school. They hadn't put everything in one building, as traditional schools tended to. Each subject had it's own building, carefully separated from each other, almost like a college. Suddenly turning her head as she heard a familiar melody drifting out of the one of the buildings she raised an eyebrow, moving towards it. Whoever was playing Debussy on the piano was incredibly talented, and she couldn't help but feel amazed. Chewing at her lip, she debated on going in, so that she could hear better. Shrugging she made her way into the music hall, carefully following the tune through the hallways. Once she had found the source of the music she stood outside, her mouth agape at the beautiful playing.

"God.." She whispered to herself, gasping when the music came to a halt. _They couldn't have heard me.. _She thought, her head twisting towards the door that was suddenly open. A dark crimson color crept to her cheeks as it pulled open farther, her lips hanging partly open as she found herself looking at the most attractive boy she had ever seen.

"I.. I'm sorry for .." She found herself cut off by his intense gaze. He suddenly raised his hand, fear flashing as she quickly crumpled to the ground, her eyes shutting tightly, as if bracing herself for an attack.

* * *

**Edward POV**

He stared at her in disbelief as her frame crumpled before his eyes, confusion etching on his face. He had only extended his hand to her so that he could introduce himself formally, but she had flinched away as if he was going to hit her.

"I'm Edward Cullen…" he said softly, before crouching down in front of her, making sure to keep a safe distance. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Sure, he had been thwarted by the scent that drifted off of her, his plan of seduction and feeding forming in a mere two seconds. However, the look that formed in her eyes, the sheer vulnerability that she expressed—it touched him. He had never seen a creature so scared by his politeness, and this confused and intrigued him. Furrowing his brow a bit, he stood reaching out a hand to help her.


	2. Questionable

I'll be completely honest,I forgot this story existed! so even though it's been like three years.. I'm gonna go back to writing it! I had to re-read the first chapter a few times to remember what exactly I was going for but I think I've got it!

As always, send me some reviews/PMs and let me know what you think !

* * *

**EPOV**

He kept the few inches between them, staring at her with a still confused expression. What had made her so scared? He had never had this reaction, especially from a girl. He had perfected the art of being gentle, soft spoken.. all around nice seeming. And yet this girl coiled back as if he had yelled at her, or threatened her.

He reached out tentatively and touched his fingers to her wrist, which only sent her flying back against the lockers on the opposite side of the wall. His eyes widened, shock etching across his face for a second as he could hear the whimper she made, her arms wrapping around her legs.

"Miss.. I .. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to hurt you. Or uh.. do anything..are you okay?" he said quietly, sitting down on the ground, trying to seem as safe as possible. "Can you tell me your name..?" He asked quietly, just wanting to find a way to make her feel comfortable around him.

* * *

She could barely hold in the scream as he reached out to touch her, pushing herself back against the lockers quickly. Whimpering, she pulled her legs into her chest as tight as she could, trying to keep her trembling from being to obvious. _Need to get out of here_, she thought to herself. The words he was saying to her barely penetrated her subconscious. She finally shot up and ran down the hall, leaving the confused boy sitting on the floor in the music hall. Finally making it outside she leaned over, catching her breath. Sighing a little, she rubbed at her eyes, feeling the tears stinging them. _I can't do this_, she ran her fingers through her hair, sliding down against the side of the school.

_Was he even going to do anything? Was he even trying to hurt you, Bella?_ She frowned, standing up slowly making her way back towards the math building. Trying to shake the thoughts from her head she made her way inside, looking for the room that corresponded with the number on the sheet they had given her. She pushed the door open, smiling weakly at the teacher that was in there, writing his name on the chalk board.

_Chalk boards still? That's impressive_, she laughed a little to herself, walking up to his desk.

"I'm Bella, this is my first day here." She mumbled, as he turned to face her.

"Well it's wonderful to meet you Bella, welcome to Forks high." He smiled at her, but there was something behind his smile she couldn't figure out. Almost a smug expression in his eyes. _You're being paranoid again, he's just a teacher._ She nodded and mumbled a quick thank you before taking a seat towards the back of the room, waiting for the rest of the students.

"Oh no no no, you're new dear, you should sit in the front so I can keep my eye on you, make sure you have all the help you need." He said, motioning towards the desk closest to his. She stood up and moved her things without questioning him, not bothering to explain that she had already taken the class._ Placing_ her bag under her new desk she slid into the seat and folded her arms over the desk, looking up at the clock. _Still ten minutes, great._ She fidgeted with her hands, mentallying begging the day to go by quicker.

"So Bella, just you know, I'll be here at the end of the day in case you want to come back and ask any questions, or you need some extra help." This time she was sure he almost smirked when he said that. She nodded a little and pretended to filter through the flyers the secretary had given her, not looking up until students started to filter into the room.

Once the class had filled and the bell rang, the teacher commanded their attention to the front, pointing towards the board.

"Alright everyone, I'm , I want to make sure you all give a warm welcome to our new student, Bella." He motioned to me and I all about died, groaning quietly. I turned and smiled the best I could, waving at everyone. About 20 sets of eyes looked back at me, some seeming more enthusiastic to meet me than others. There were always the few girls, that looked at me as if I was some competition to them. Unfortunately, I didn't have a way to explain to them that I was farthest thing from threatening to them. My interest in guys was at it's lowest low, after last summer. After he.. I turned back to the front and locked my eyes back on , a little bothered to find that he was already looking at me.

Resting my arm on the desk, I placed my cheek in my hand and tried not to fall asleep through our first lesson in Trig.


	3. Fight Fight Fight!

A few of you PM'd me to tell me you loved where the story was going, but that the chapter was a little short! I know! I'm sorry, I'll make sure to work on the length!

* * *

As our class finished, she stood up, pulling her bag from under the desk. She stuffed everything from the office aside from her map and schedule into the bag, as well as everything had given her for his class. Pulling it onto her back lazily she made her way towards the door behind everyone else, freezing when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Bella, would you hang back for a few minutes?" 's voice came only inches from her ear, it took everything in her not to scream. Taking a deep breath she spun around and nodded, quickly pulling away from his gasp. She took a seat at the desk closest and looked up at him, wondering what he could possibly need to say.

"Look Bella I just want to make sure you're going to be able to keep up with the other students, so I'd like to setup mandatory after school meetings, once every monday, from 3-4 oclock. I won't take no for an answer, alright?" He said, that same smug smile plastered on his face. She sighed and nodded, standing up quickly and leaving the classroom not wanting to give him more of a chance to say or do anything else. Looking down at her schedule she smiled a little, noticing she had English now. _God I hope we're doing Shakespeare_, she mentally noted, leaving the math wing. She looked down to the map and spun around a few times, until she felt like she was heading in the right direction. Making her way down the path towards building 4 she began to study the faces of the other students that walked by. They were all so ordinary, nothing really stood out. It made her more comfortable she found.

She pulled open the door to building 4, finding the building much more crowded than her math one had been. _Weird, it seems like half the school is in here right now.._ Her thoughts stayed kept to this confused path until she started to notice that everyone was crowded together, blocking her way down the rest of the hall. And was that... yelling? Yes, it was definitely two guys yelling at each other. And then she could finally see it, there were two guys fighting on the floor, and everyone was watching. _Well, some things are universal... _she rolled her eyes and tried to make her way through the crowd. Quickly stepping past the opening she almost made it by when they both yelled in unison "THERE SHE IS!" and quickly scrambled over to her. Before she knew what was happening they both had a hold of one of her arms and the world went black.

* * *

He had heard the arguement and merely wanted something to laugh at, one more reason to realize why he didn't befriend the humans here. But then, he saw her. He immediately began to push through the crowd, concentrating solely on her. _Don't try to go through there.._ he pulled at his hair, his thoughts reaching out to encompass the boys fighting." _I saw her first, I'm gonna ask her out. **Sh**__**e wouldn't even want this idiot, I'm gonna ask her out first!**__She's just going to pick me anyway." _He cursed under his breath when he realized this was all about her, and that she was walking into the middle of it all. Watching the scene unfold like an uncomfortable sitcom he watched them both grab her and then.. wait, was she passed out? Out of shock the guys dropped her, and she slumped to the ground. _Are they serious?_ he quickly tore through the crowd and craddled her in his arms, picking her up quickly. Glaring at both of the guys he ignored their pride filled thoughts and did all he could not to run to the nurses office at full speed. Making his way out of the english wing he stared down at her soft features, frowning. _What has happened to you that takes the joy right out of your eyes? Why do you cower at a man's touch?_ the possibilities that poured through his mind were more terrible then he wanted to swallow down, but all possible. He made it a point to keep an eye on her from their on out, his speed increasing as he finally made it to the nurses office. Walking in he looked at the nurse and then down at the girl in his arms. "She fainted.." He said, not sure if he should disclose the whole situation.

"Oh dear. Bring her and set her on the cot over here." Edward had always been fond of the nurse. She was a plump, smiley, older woman and her thoughts were always pure. _He carried this girl all the way here? What a gentleman. Gosh, what could've made her pass out?_ He smiled a little and set the girl down.

The nurse came over and set a cold compress on her forehead, pulling a small bottle of salts from her coat pocket. Taking off the cap she set them underneath Bella's nose, smiling a little as the girl's eyes fluttered. "There we go, don't sit up dear, rest for a second."

He sighed in relief as she woke up, and leaned back against the wall, not wanting to give her another surprise she wasn't ready for.

* * *

"Wh..what happened?" she mumbled, looking from the nurse and then, wait, was it the boy from this morning? It was, she swallowed hard, taking in his features once more, this time able to focus on him. He had flawless skin, paler than hers which she never thought was possible. His eyes were a delightful golden color that reminded her of honey. His hair unruly, but attractive, and suiting to his mysterious expressions. But, why were they in the nurses office? And why was he with her? Looking to the nurse she pulled the compress from her head, swallowing again. "May I have water?" She asked quietly, smiling a little as the nurse left the room.

"What are you doing in here.. why am I in here..?" She asked, her eyes widening as she looked down to make sure all of her clothes were in tact."Did something happen to me?" She began to panic, sitting up quickly.

"No no no.. shh, calm down. you fainted... these two guys were uh..fighting over you. They grabbed you and you passed out. "His voice was angelic, almost musical. He came and sat at the edge of the cot, clearly trying to seem as safe as possible. She nodded a little, the memories piecing their way back into her mind. "Oh..yeah." She nodded and pulled her legs into her chest, resting her head on her knees.

"My name is Edward..." He offered her his hand, not sure if she would even take it.

"Bella." She said into her knees, turning her head to notice his gesture. Her brows knit together, and she reached out carefully, sliding her hand into his. She shook it for a second, before quickly pulling away.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright,I'll leave you alone now." He stood up quickly and stepped out of the room, making his way back to the English building.

She thanked the nurse when she came back in with the water and drank it quickly, before standing up. "I should head to class, never good to miss the first day." She reminded the nurse and thanked her again, walking outside. _Now where am I...building 4 is in the middle, so I need to go left and straight? That sounds right.._ she groaned and took off, hoping she would end up in the right place. By the time she made it to her classroom the class was half finished. She slipped in quietly and the teacher nodded, seemingly aware of what had happened. And to her horror, the only open seat available was between the two guys from earlier. _intentional..?_ She sat down quickly and kept her eyes on the teacher, ignoring the constant "Psst" she heard from either side. As the bell rang, they both flanked her desk, shoving their phone numbers infront of her.

"I'd really like to get to know you Bella, I'm Mike.."

"No Bella, I would be thrilled to spend time with you, I'm Eric."

"Boys, give the girl some space, don't you have a class to get to?" scolded, tapping her foot against the ground angrily. They both nodded, defeated, and left the room. Making her way up aisle to the front desk she thanked her teacher, taking the material she was handed.

"You didn't miss too much, just try to avoid too much hallway fainting before my class okay?" grinned at her and handed her a small bundle of papers. Bella nodded, thanked her and left the room. _Thank god this is an open period.._ she could finally take a second to relax, away from everyone. She left the english building and walked towards the grassy courtyards that were shaded by huge beautiful trees. She took a seat underneath one of the trees and leaned back against it, pulling some of the papers from her bag. Flipping through the syllabus from she realized she suddenly was not alone. Her breath quickened and she slowly looked up, her eyes catching sight of pale skin, and golden eyes.

* * *

He had been worried about her. He wasn't sure what it was that made her so important, but he had an inate desire to make sure nothing happened to her. He had seen so much..damage in her eyes when he first saw her, and then the fainting.. there was something dark in her past, something he wanted to know.

As if she had known she consumed his thoughts she was suddenly walking by him, the scent unmistakable. _God why does she have to smell so good.._ He inwardly groaned. He hadn't fed from humans in years, so the lust for their blood had dulled, but a scent like hers was tough to deny. Shaking the thought from his head he followed her over to the courtyard, giving her a second to sit down. He made sure to not get to close, not wanting to startle her. He sat on the bench a foot away from her, giving her a second to realize he was there. As she looked up, he smiled genuinely.

"I just wanted to check on you... make sure you were feeling okay." he started with, trying to gauge her reaction to his presence.

"Thank you Edward, and thanks for taking me to the nurse earlier." There was a smile on her lips, but the smile didn't quite touch her eyes he realized. He frowned a little, and for the millionth time that day tried to reach out to her thoughts, but nothing.

"Are you alright? You look upset." He offered, wondering if that would give her the leeway to spill. Humans loved to talk about themselves, he noticed. And as much as he wanted her to be different from everyone else, this one thing he hoped remained the same.

"Oh, i'm fine. probably just.. uh, tired. You know. hard time sleeping before the first day of school. It was nice talking to you Edward." And then she was up, and gone. _What a terrible liar.._ he chuckled a little and sighed, wondering what he would do to make himself more approachable to her.


	4. What's The Deal?

She crossed the campus that the high school sat on, back towards the front building. Luckily for her, she had gym now, and her visit to the nurses office would keep her from having to do anything. She took that as a mental victory before opening the door to the gymnasium. She introduced herself to the coach and handed him the note the nurse had given her to excuse her from the class. He nodded and gestured towards the bleachers, telling her to just do homework or read.

She smiled and crossed the room to the bleachers, pulling the math homework out that she had. As she idly began to doodle out numbers she heard footsteps coming towards her, her eyes raising tentatively. Rolling her eyes as she noticed one of the guys from earlier heading her way she shook her head, holding up her hands. "I think earlier was more than enough," She said quietly, almost begging him with her eyes to go away.

"Now c'mon Bella, I don't bite. Unless you want. Haha," He laughed nervously, his eyes slipping over her body. He slowly moved next to her, sitting down. "My name's Mike, I just wanted to introduce myself the right way." He gave his best charming smile, offering his hand. She eyed it wearily and sighed, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you, I guess. My name is Bella.. but.. aparently you already know that?" She asked quizically, shrugging a little before focusing her attention back on his homework.

He sat with his mouth open for a moment, not sure how to answer her. He snapped out of his daze a second later only to realize her attention was gone. Frowning, he stood up and walked towards the locker room, deciding that was enough embarassment for now. The class continued on with him often staring her way, only to realize that she had virtually no interest in what he was doing at all.

She stood up and stretched as the bell rang, stuffing her stuff back into her bag. _Lunch.. how do I avoid all of these guys.._ She thought back the courtyard where she had sat earlier, mentally deciding that would be her lunch table. Quickly making her way out of the gym she headed to the cafeteria, delighting in the fact that she was one of the first students there. She moved through the food line quickly, deciding on a turkey sandwich and a bottle of water. She thanked the lunch lady and escaped to the outside just as students began to pour in. She made her way back towards the courtyard, taking a seat at the bench once more. _Only a few more hours, you're doing good.. only one incident, that's another victory_... she smiled to herself at the thought, unwrapping her sandwich. She took a bite, and started to riffle through her bookbag, pulling out a worn version of Romeo and Juliet.

"Is that your favorite Shakespeare..?" She stiffened and turned, the deep male voice unnerving her. She looked up only to see the same boy that had plagued her mind earlier. She couldn't help but study his handsome features, her teeth subconsciously digging into her lip. "Uh.. one of them. I've read it so many times.. I don't know why I bother at this point.." She mumbled, putting it down slowly.

"I've read Othello over a hundred times, you don't need to be embarassed." He smiled at her, looking at the bench. "Is it alright with you if I sit down, Bella?" he asked softly, furrowing his brows.

"Oh um.. go ahead." _Why do you want to sit with me? I have seen atleast five girls drool in your presence today, and all of them were ten times more attractive than me. _ She turned back to her lunch, taking another tentative bite of her sandwich.

"Tell me about yourself." He tilted his head towards her, trying to focus in on her thoughts again, to no avail. She blinked repeatedly, meeting his gaze.

"I'm uh, not really good at.. talking about myself. To be honest. I don't really. Um. I don't know. " She blushed hard, turning back to her sandwich again, not wanting to look at him.

He chuckled softly, and reached out, touching her hand. He frowned as she jumped and coiled back, staring at him. "Bella.." He whispered gently, his expression becoming soft. "I don't want to hurt you, please tell me how to make you comfortable around me.." He pleaded with his eyes, folding his hands in his lap.

"I'm sorry Edward, you should honestly just stay away from me. We can't be friends. I just.. I'd rather you just left me alone." She stared at him for a moment before her eyes started to water. "Shit," she mumbled under her breath and got up quickly, grabbing her bag without another word. In her hurry she left her half eaten lunch, and her book behind.

_Who did this to you, Bella.. who made you this scared little creature. _ He sighed and forced his fingers through his tangled strands. He stood and picked up her book, tossing it into his bag. Looking down at her lunch he sighed._ Good job, now she can starve because of you, idiot. _ He quickly picked it up and tossed it in the nearest garbage, before making his way off to his next class.

She walked towards her truck, her hands balled into little fists. _That's it, I'm over it. I'm gonna drop out, become a nun.. move to a convent.. _She went over Edward's expression continously in her mind. _ He looked so genuine, so nice.. so sexy.. _ She stopped mid-thought at that, shaking her head a little. _You can't trust him.. you don't know what he's capable of... you thought Chris was nice.. and look what he did... _She couldn't stop the tears at this point. She climbed into the cab of her truck and rested her head against the steering wheel, closing her eyes. She couldn't stop the thoughts from flooding her at that point, the smell of alcohol on Chris's breath. The bruises he left, the sound of his laugh against her ears. She had been so trusting, so sure of him. And now look where she was- another state, no contact to anyone back home, and a murder on her hands. Scars that would never go away, she thought bitterly. She shoved her key in her ignition and started the car, throwing it into gear roughly. She wiped at her face and pulled out of the parking lot, convinced that she was done for the day.

As he pulled out he watched, confused and concerned by the display he just witnessed. He had watched her cry, had watch her lost herself in the thoughts.He cursed himself for his infatuation and took off running through the parallel forest, following behind her trunk at a safe distance. _I'm going to understand you if it kills me, _ he laughed at the last part bitterly, continuing off after her truck.


End file.
